Week 52, Day 5

Nearing the end of another yearlong project has me feeling a bit retrospective. I’m thinking about the passage of time, the importance of patience, the weird compounded pressure of self-imposed deadlines when a level of social accountability is added, the desire to please people with your work, the desire to do good work even if it doesn’t please people, the pressure to perform well. I could go on, but that is all sort of the point, or at least part of the point. To create consistently with all these things in the mix and see what shows up, not so much in the work but in your own person? Strengths and weaknesses exposed? Then in the light of said exposures to start asking real questions of yourself. Why do I do what I do? Why do I care what people think of what I do? Should I care? Should I change what I do based on how people feel about it? I could go on. As I near the end of 52 Weeks and contemplate the taking on of the next logical progression I’m feeling some pressure. The pressure of what if my last piece really sucks, or maybe just sucks a little, or doesn’t suck too much but is just not much of a finale. All of which I have to say again, is sort of the point. Love it or hate it, succumb to it willingly or have it imposed upon you by circumstances out your control, pressure inevitably, will reveal the true nature of your character. The chinks in your armor will be exposed. You will be vulnerable; you will have to look at yourself honestly. You will have to make honest choices based on what you see or, pretend you never saw those things at all. Again I say, in my most feeble attempts to test my own metal in this relatively small context, is the point of it all. I honestly don’t know what I’m doing, but whatever I’m doing I’d like to get better at it. If I succeed or fail in the end I will have learned what I needed to in order to give it another go. The only real failure is to quit up or worse yet, to quit before you even try. Thanks for following along and sharing your thoughts and comments along the way.  With all that being said, let me get back to work and see what comes of this final week. Shalom.